Growing Pains
by Viet SoLe
Summary: AU. Rachel Berry is at NYU studying to be the next Broadway sensation, but something tragic is holding her back. This is her living, learning that life isn't fair, and things don't always go as planned. Growing up means Growing Pains.
1. Just Another Day

Chapter one- Just Another Day

_Big open spaces, bright lights, and two-tone walls. Peppermint. The room smelled of peppermint. Black Hair, dark eyes, slim build and cold. He was cold, not winter cold but cold blooded, a heart made out of ice. Begging, he loved to hear me beg, so when he wrapped his hand around my wrist I knew there was no chance of escape. He loved it, every scream, every cry, every time I would plead for him to stop. Please stop, let me go. I promise I won't tell anyone, just please let me go. Why are you doing this to me? I cried and screamed but he was not sympathetic, he was aroused. Excited and proud of himself he began to push harder into me. Cry for me Rachel. Scream. No one going to save you now, he was right and no one did. _

"Rachel, hey Rachel. HELLO"

As Rachel broke out of her short film nightmare, she noticed that the room she was in has fallen silent and all eyes were on her. She couldn't make out the small creature that was walking towards her until Professor Ian was right in front of her.

"Rachel, it's your line," Ian said, with one of those I don't get paid enough to do this faces.

Line? What line? Oh right she was in class, the room where she stands was the theater department stage where all the plays were rehearsed. The eyes, they were from all the other students waiting on her to say her line. Okay Rachel, so what is your line? Lines go on paper, which are then turn into scripts. So where in the world is my script? Oh right, in my hand. So with all the conviction and power she had in her she said her line.

"STOP. Don't step any closer. I'll shoot!" and to be honest Professor Ian did not look impressed what so ever.

"Alright, everyone that's it for today, I'll see everyone back here a 8 am sharp and hopefully this time Ms. Berry here with grace us with her present and attention".

Yes, I know asshole right? Professor Ian means well, it's just, at times, you see sometime he…. Oh what am I saying? He is an asshole. He seems to get his pleasure out of seeing freshmen new comers cry, sophomores cry and well you get the picture. It's because he is 35 and he feels like a woman stuck in a man's body. He seems to have taken that frustration out on the world and for about 4 hours a day, we are the world.

"Professor Ian, I'm really sorry about today". I'm about to do what any sophomore would do in a position when they are on Professor Ian's bad side. Suck up. Professor Ian loved when his student sucks on him, I mean sucks up to him. Here goes nothing. "It's just I didn't get enough sleep last night, I stayed up for hours trying to finish reading your magnificent play, _Romeo And Juliet in New York City_. I just couldn't seem to tear myself away. It was such a beautiful love story, yet very dramatic when needed. I cannot imagine why you're here at NYU teaching when you should be writing scripts for Oprah or something." Believable? I'm guessing I was because right when I was finished, he stopped looking at himself with his 3' inch circular mirror and turned to me. He began to look me up and down, almost trying to sense if I was lying or not. He stood and began walking my way. Moment of truth…

"Oh my goodness, did you really like it? I spent like forever writing that script," he said with so much giddiness I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

So is it me or did Professor Ian go from a 35 year old male to 15 year old teenage female who just got a compliment on her cute cotton candy nail polish and baby blue top that seem to match so well together?

"Okay Rachel, I guess because you were up so late reading my brilliant script that I could let what happen today go." Well isn't he just a peach. "But next time I don't know if I could be this lenient about this, you need to pay more attention in my class. It's the only way for you to become the best actress you can be." Or the Dumbest. "What did you say?" Nothing, I totally agree. "Right, well run along. Let me get back to my business."

"Well, run along, let me get back to my business." Who does he think he is? As Rachel swiftly but viciously made her way down the hall, mimicking and mocking Professor Ian, she had to admit it to herself that today had to be the worst day ever. It's not enough she had to think about him and what that animal did to her but she had to deal with Professor Ian. How could today get any worse? Was someone going to go back to her apartment and paint her walls green and decorate her house with blue and white furniture because they saw it on HGTV and thought they could be a designer too? God, she wish today could just be over, as she made her way towards her locker.

"UH, I hate Professor Ian. Why is it that because he can't seem to get a man I have to pay for his lack of allure and bad writing. It's not my fault the man sucks," Rachel said while banging her head against her locker.

"Now Rachel, what did we talk about yesterday? You have to learn how to play nice with your Professor or they're all just going to fail you," a voice from the locker next to Rachel spoke. As Quinn closed her locker, giving Rachel one of those ice cream sundae melting smiles. Rachel seems to have forgotten just why she was mad. "Rachel, are you listening to me? Why is it whenever I begin to talk you, you never seem to be listening? Rachel? HELLO!"

"What? Ice cream sundae?" As Rachel snapped out of her daydream of Quinn floating on a large ice cream sundae and her smile as tiny sprinkles dancing around her head she noticed that Quinn was already half way down the hall walking towards their first class together.

"Quinn, wait up," Rachel yelled making her way down the hallway. "Why are you walking so fast? It's like you want to see Professor Crowe and her mustache". Rachel said steadily trailing behind Quinn.

"You know Rachel, not all of us have your talent of being able to be dramatic, humorous, and charming all at the same time. Some of us have to learn those traits and how do we learn them you might ask? Well, we go to this huge school you call college, then sit in these rooms with teachers teaching which we like to call class and we learn," Quinn said as she took her sit in Professor Crowe class.

"Did I ever tell you your sarcasm is the reason why were such great friends?" Rachel tried to fake a million dollar smile while taking her sit next to Quinn.

As Quinn turn to look at Rachel while she was twirling her pencil in one hand and balancing another on her nose, she couldn't help but think Rachel could be and totally is one of the most adorable people she could of ever met. Yes, Rachel has her moments when she's annoying beyond measure and she always seems to space out when Quinn's talking to her but she couldn't help but think this girl is amazing.

"Attention class, eyes up here" as Professor Crowe made her way into the classroom. "Now yesterday we were talking about how to cry on cue, does anyone remember how to do so?" As Rachel continued to balance her pencil on top of her nose, Quinn hand shoot right up to answer the question. "Yes, Quinn?"

"Yesterday you explained that to be able to portray a person in pain and for one to cry even though they are not in real pain is for them to think of a painful situation and work off of that." As the words left Quinn's mouth, you could see how much pride she felt for the answer she had given and if you could only see the pride on Professor Crowe's face. You would think that either her head was about to spin off or Quinn just won the golden ticket for answering her question correctly.

"Amazing Quinn. Excellent".

As Professor Crowe's eyes began to examine the class before she picks another student to answer a question, you can see her eyes on lock and loaded on Rachel who still at this time is balancing a pencil on top of her nose. "Rachel, explain to me why it's always good to stay in character no matter the circumstance?" Before Rachel answered, she took the pencil off her nose, looked around the classroom, then at Quinn who is now holding her head in her hand like she just caught a huge headache and said, "It's because you're always constant and it teaches you to become the character." As Quinn, slowly took her head out of her hands and looked up at Rachel, she then knew why it was that she had fallen for Rachel the end of their freshmen year at NYU. Because even though she seemed to fool around and never take her classes seriously, when it came to acting and knowing how to be a great actress Rachel never missed a beat. So as Rachel smiled her sly smile at Professor Crowe, Quinn couldn't help but smile at Rachel.

"That is correct, Ms. Berry. I guess there is hope for you yet."

And just as Professor Crowe said those words, Rachel turned to look at Quinn, meeting her eyes as Quinn stared back at her. She smiled and mumbled under her breath, "You have no idea".


	2. Lunch, Lies, Life

Chapter 2 – Lunch, Lies, Life

"Lunch. Finally, a subject where I do not have to listen to nagging teachers with their big words, annoying faces and the need to feel superior," Rachel said to Quinn with excitement and relief in her voice. "Thank god I didn't have Professor Del Cruz's class right after Crowe's. I might have died" As she made her way towards her locker, Quinn trailing slowly behind in a slight daze. "I don't know why improv is even necessary. It's not like I'm going to work on Who Line is it Anyways after I graduate," Rachel said slamming her locker door and turning to look at Quinn who was now leaning against her locker sill in a daze. "Quinn? Are you listening?"

Quinn continued to stare blankly into space, she was so wrapped up on how she was feeling about Rachel that she seem to be ignoring the fact that the girl she was fantasizing about was right in front of her. Great job, Quinn. I guess dreaming about running through a big open field of green grass and sun flowers while holding hands with Rachel is a little more important then actually speaking to her. It really depends on how you look at it.

"Quinn, are you okay?" Rachel was now beginning to shake Quinn's arm a little.

"Oh don't worry, she fine. She's just spacing." Noah Puckerman said walking towards Rachel and Quinn with his signature bad boy smile with a little hint of sweetness.

"What do you meaning she's spacing? What can she possibly be thinking so deeply about?" It almost surprised Rachel that Quinn could even "space out". Quinn, in Rachel's eyes, ever since she met her freshmen year, has always been focused, alert, and focused. She was never the type to space out or lose concentration.

"Don't be nosy Berry, she's just deep in thought. Give her a couple of minutes and she'll snap out if it."

You know, if it wasn't for Noah being Quinn's best friend, I might have to consider writing that love note to Professor Ian and signing his name. Noah Puckerman is… how can I say this with out being mean? He's annoying, a pest almost. See, I met Noah freshmen year in my Study hall class. I was trying to read over my script for Professor Sanchez's class while Noah was trying to hit on Professor Sanchez. Luckily before Professor Sanchez could make up her mind to either report Noah or slap him, Quinn came in and saved the day by saying he didn't take his morning meds and made him apologize. That was also the first day I first laid eyes on Quinn and to be perfectly honest, she took my breath away.

"Quinn, this is Noah speaking. If you're in there please come out. I'm hungry and the Puck man needs to eat."

Isn't puck so full of it? Of course he is the only one that needs to eat, not like I'm hungry or anything. Jerk.

"I'm sorry, what? Oh, Puck and Rachel! When did you guys get here?" Obliviously Quinn is completely lost because I could have sworn I was standing here for more than 10 minutes and well Noah… He can't count anyways. It's not like his time is precious or anything.

"Quinn, can we go eat now? I'm hungry and we only have like an hour left of lunch time." Puck was now using his "feel bad for me" face.

"Alright, so where are we eating today?" Quinn asked while she put her books into her looker and then closed it.

"Well there this vegan place near by that I've been meaning to try, if you guys want to go." I'm not a meat eater. My dads always told me never eat anything that once had a face and heart. Have you ever thought about it? The burger you just ate was this beautiful cow with a face, heart, and feelings? I just couldn't see myself doing such thing.

"I don't want to eat fake food. Come on Rachel, vegan food full of that tofucky stuff." Noah stated with an irritated look on his face.

"It's tofurkey Noah." See what I mean? He is so annoying!

"Okay you two stop fighting. We can try Rachel's place today because you picked yesterday and not everything in a vegan restaurant is made of tofurkey, Puck." Quinn was always stuck as middleman between Puck and I, but she was good at it.

"Alright fine, but if I see that all they have is that tofucky stuff I'm out of there."

"Tofurkey! It's to-fur-key!" Rachel now using her outdoor voice to yell at Noah.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just go eat." Puck said making his way down the hall with Quinn walking beside him and Rachel trailing slowly behind so she wouldn't be tempted to pop Noah one.

_Got Soy Vegan Restaurant_

"How many?" A voice behind the counter asked.

"4 please," Rachel said while looking for her fourth party and scrolling through her phone.

"4? Who else is coming, Rachel?" Quinn asked with a little confusion on her face, as the 3 of them sat at their table.

"Oh, Mike. He got out of his acting class early. I guess Professor Ian had better things to do than his job." Quinn looked at Rachel after what she said with an almost shocked face.

"Rachel." Obliviously Quinn didn't agree with what Rachel said.

"What? Like it's not true. Professor Ian writes those terrible plays and horrible scripts for what? So he can get out of teaching at NYU, everyone knows that. I'm just the only one that would say it out loud." Yeah Rachel had a hard time keeping her mouth shout at times if you haven't already notice.

"Alright guys, here are your menus. I'm Blaine, your waiter today so let me know if you have any questions and I'll be back in a few to get your orders. Would you guys like anything to drink?"

"Just water for me thanks." Rachel said without even taking her eyes off her phone to acknowledge her waiter.

"Yeah, water fine for the both of us also." Quinn seem to have noticed that the waiter was a little upset at how Rachel was acting, so she gave him one of those sincere smiles and said thank you, hoping that he does not spit in their food for Rachel's current lack of brain cells.

Mike Chang enters the restaurant with a smile, searching for his friends. Waving when he finally spotted them.

"Hey Mike, how are you?" Quinn grinned.

"I'm good, thank god class ended early today. I couldn't take anymore of Professor Ian "I'm the diva and you must bow before me" crap." Mike said with a shake of his head and a sarcastic look on his face as he made his way to the table. "Rachel get off your phone! Stop being rude." Mike hated when Rachel focused more on her phone then her friends. She never used to do that. She used to be the one who started conversation with everyone and couldn't shut up about Wicked. Not saying Mike didn't like hearing about his best friend's dreams about being on Broadway and being Elphaba, but a guy can only listen so much before his ears feel like they're going to fall off or bleed. He has been noticing weird changes in Rachel since they started their sophomore year but he couldn't get her to tell him exactly what and whenever he tried to talk to her or bring it up, she would deflect the question or conversation. He didn't care though. She is his best friend and he was determined to find out what was wrong with her no matter what.

"Alright, I'm getting off my phone mom. Gosh don't have a goat." Rachel put her phone in her back pocket and then looked at Mike to see if he was satisfied with her action.

"Good, at least now all of us have your attention." Mike said with plenty of sarcasm in his tone.

Rachel looked over at Mike and gave him a troublesome smile. Rachel was about to open her mouth when Quinn cut her off.

"Okay you two, lets not kill each other before we even get to order our food." Quinn always seem to save the day, even when Rachel and Mike were arguing like children.

"Where's our waiter anyways? Isn't it rude to not come over and greet your customers?" Rachel's tone was not exactly patient, nor was it kind. It's probably because she was busy on her phone texting Mike before he got here and playing Diner Dash on her phone. She totally missed the part when their waiter did come over to greet them, ask them what they wanted to drink and told them his name. Yeah, she wasn't being observant at the time.

"See how much you know, Berry. The waiter did come. You were just to busy on that phone of yours to even notice." Puck hunched over the table with one elbow to look at Rachel and his facial expression read disappointment. One thing no one seems to know about Puck, not even Quinn, is that having respect is really close to his heart. His mother was a single mom after his dad left her, Puck, and his little sister Sam to be with some whore he met at a work convention. He remembers his mom crying for one week straight because she was so heart broken and didn't know how to take care of Puck or Sam. She has never worked a day in her life because that was Puck's dad's job. She eventually found a waitressing job at a near by diner. Words couldn't describe how much respect Puck had for his mom. So, what ever she said to him, taught him, and asked him to do, he did so. One of the most important thing she has ever taught him was to respect others the way you want to be respected. So, for Rachel to be so disrespectful to that waiter was a hard slap in the face to Puck. Honestly, Puck doesn't hate Rachel. But to be honest, from her actions today, Puck knows for sure he does not respect her.

"Chill Noah, I'm sorry I didn't notice Mr. Waiter Man." Rachel's sarcasm is currently not needed but for some reason she can't seem to stop her self.

"His name is Blaine." Puck said this while standing up and working out of the restaurant.

"What's his problem? It's not like he's related to the guy." Rachel currently is not anyone's favorite person at the table right now.

"Rachel, you just take it too far sometimes. It was pretty rude for you not to even acknowledge the waiter or what you're doing wrong. It's like you don't care." Quinn said with a saddened expression on her face. "I don't know what's with you right now, but I don't really want to be around you. I guess I'll jus see you in class later." Quinn slowly got up, gave Mike a hug goodbye and start towards the door to look for Puck.

"God, it's not like I killed his parents or something. I just didn't see him come to our table. Is that a crime now? Rachel's face was confused; she really couldn't understand what she did wrong.

"Rachel, you really do go too far sometimes. I wasn't here when you did what you did but for Quinn to even say that you were wrong must mean you were pretty mean to the waiter. I don't know what's going on with you Rachel, but I don't know." Mike stared down at his glass of water, focusing on the ice that was slowly melting in his cup. He didn't know what to tell Rachel, he didn't want to take sides but… Rachel was being such a… bitch lately.

"Mike…I Just…" Rachel wanted to explain. She wanted to explain how she had a terrifying experience and that it has done something to her soul and heart. That if she could, she would break down right here, right now in front of him and the whole world so she could tell everyone that's willing to listen what happened to her; how scared she was, and how much every morning she wakes up she wants to die.

Yet, she couldn't. So Mike shook his head, stood up to kiss her on the cheek and made his way to the door. Rachel knew she would be trapped in this cage of horror and pain for a while longer or at least until she can come up with the courage to tell someone…

Rachel stood slowly as she watched Mike's shadow fade away slowly. She couldn't help but be so disappointed in herself. This wasn't her. This isn't the person she wants to be but if she wasn't this person that she is currently… Well, lets just say she wouldn't be standing here, in this restaurant right now. So as Rachel made her way to the counter to pay the bill, she knew whatever she was doing right now, the person she is right now at this moment, is the only thing keeping her alive.

"Um… I would like to pay my check please." Rachel said to the guy behind the counter who had his back turned to her.

"Uhhh… Ms, you guys didn't really order anything besides water." Blaine looked at Rachel utter confusion.

"Oh well, I'll pay for the waters then." Rachel speech was soft when she said this. She made no eye contact with the guy behind the counter. To be honest, she knew she was rude and was too embarrassed to look him in the eye, so she looked at the ground.

"It's on the house, don't even worry about it." Blaine said with a smile and a laugh in his voice.

"What? Are you sure? I can pay for the waters." Rachel's head has now popped up from looking at the ground to the guy with the hazel eyes and for a second, she lost her train of thought.

"No, really it's okay. You're looking like you're having a bad day and I never make a sad, pretty girl pay for water. That would be rude of me." Blaine said this with humor as he crossed his arms and leaned on the counter. "Honestly, don't worry about it. Just try to have a better day, okay?" Blaine said as he turned back around to continue doing what he was doing before.

Rachel was now beating her self up inside. In her head, she was currently punching herself in the face, upper cutting herself in the stomach, and stomping on her head. He doesn't want to be rude because she looked sad and was pretty and he wants her to just have a better day. GOD, Rachel how evil could you be? He was nice and kind, and you were a TOTAL BITCH! Perfect! So before she turned away to head for the door, she tapped the guy behind the counter to say something she hasn't said to anybody in a while.

"Hey, Umm… I'm sorry for being rude earlier. I'm kind of a jerk." As the last word left her mouth and before the guy behind the counter could respond, she was moving lighting speed for the door and then she was gone.

"Wait… What's your name?" Blaine couldn't believe it. Cruella De Vil has a heart after all. He laughed and shook his head and couldn't help but be a little curious about what this girl's name is. "Oh well, I guess Cruella will have to do for now."


End file.
